Kerr University™Stop Apologizing at Work: Reclaim Your Credibility
Learn when 'sorry' weakens your message and what to say instead.
The Apology Trap
Many professionals, especially women and people early in their careers, open statements with unnecessary apologies. 'I'm sorry, but I have a different perspective' or 'Sorry to interrupt' weakens your position before you even speak. When you apologize for taking up space, you signal that your contribution is an inconvenience rather than a value-add. This habit erodes credibility over time, making people take your ideas less seriously.
When 'Sorry' Actually Works
Genuine apologies are powerful when you've made a real mistake. 'I missed that deadline, and I'm sorry. Here's how I'm fixing it' shows accountability. But apologizing for things outside your control or for normal workplace participation undermines you. You're not sorry for thinking differently, for asking a question, or for needing five minutes of meeting time. Distinguish between real mistakes and normal professional activity.
Your New Go-To Phrases
Replace apologetic openings with confident alternatives. Instead of 'Sorry, but...' try 'I see this differently' or 'Let me offer another angle.' Replace 'Sorry to interrupt' with 'I'd like to add something' or 'Can I jump in?' These phrases are direct without being rude. They position you as someone who participates fully rather than someone asking permission to exist in the conversation. Your ideas deserve airtime.
This week: Identify one meeting this week where you'd normally apologize for speaking up. Instead, use one confident phrase from above. Notice the difference in how people respond to you.
— Digby R. Kerr