Kerr University™Stop Apologizing for Everything: Sound More Confident Now
Three words are sabotaging your credibility at work. Here's how to eliminate them.
The Confidence Killer in Your Email
I see this constantly in professional communication: "I'm sorry, but I think we should consider..." or "Sorry to bother you, but could you..." These phrases undermine your authority before you even make your point. You're not actually apologizing for anything. You're signaling weakness.
Native English speakers use "sorry" as a softener out of habit, but in business it works against you. Research shows that people who apologize unnecessarily are perceived as less competent and less likely to be promoted. Your ideas deserve better introduction than an apology.
Replace Apologies with Power Phrases
Instead of "I'm sorry, but," try these alternatives depending on context:
- "Here's my perspective..." (confident statement)
- "I'd like to suggest..." (assertive and clear)
- "Thank you for your time" (grateful, not apologetic)
- "I wanted to flag this for you" (proactive, professional)
If you genuinely make a mistake, a real apology is appropriate: "I missed that deadline. Here's how I'm fixing it." Short. Honest. No extra softening needed. Then move forward.
Practice This Week
Start noticing when you apologize unnecessarily. In your next five emails or meetings, catch yourself before typing "sorry to bother you" or "I apologize for the long message." Replace it with a direct statement. You'll feel the difference immediately. Your colleagues will too.
Confidence isn't arrogance. It's clarity. And clarity begins the moment you stop apologizing for taking up space.
This week: This week, flag every unnecessary apology in your emails before sending. Replace at least three with power phrases from the list above. Notice how your message lands differently.
— Digby R. Kerr