Kerr University™Stop Apologizing for Your Ideas in Meetings
Why saying sorry weakens your influence and what to say instead.
The Apology Trap
I hear it constantly: 'Sorry, but I have a question.' 'I'm sorry if this is obvious, but...' 'Sorry, can I jump in?' These phrases drain your credibility before you even speak. When you apologize for contributing, you signal that your idea isn't worth hearing. Your colleagues don't need permission to listen to you, and neither do you. The worst part? This habit spreads. One apology invites skepticism about everything else you say.
The Power Shift: Three Confident Replacements
Replace apologies with these phrases instead. Instead of 'Sorry, but I have a question,' try: 'I'd like to understand one thing.' Instead of 'Sorry if this is obvious,' use: 'Here's what I'm seeing.' Instead of 'Sorry, can I jump in?' say: 'I want to add something.' Notice the difference? You move from seeking permission to claiming your space. You sound like someone who belongs in the room. These aren't aggressive or rude. They're direct and professional. Native English speakers use them constantly because they work.
Building Your New Habit
Breaking this habit takes awareness first, action second. For the next week, listen for your own apologies during meetings. Don't judge yourself. Just notice the pattern. Then, in your next three meetings, catch one apology before it leaves your mouth and replace it with a confident phrase. It will feel strange at first. Good. That's how new habits feel. After ten times, it becomes automatic. Your English will sound stronger, and your ideas will land harder.
This week: In your next meeting, catch yourself before saying 'sorry' and replace it with one confident phrase from this email. Notice how people react.
— Digby R. Kerr