Your first 1-on-1s as a new manager set the tone for the whole relationship. Get them right and you build trust fast. Here's exactly what to say to start strong.
Lead with curiosity, not authority
Your first job is to understand each person — their work, their goals, what's working and what isn't. Ask more than you tell: 'What should I know about how you like to work?' 'What would make your job easier?' Listening first earns respect.
Set expectations openly
Share how you like to work and communicate, and invite them to do the same. Being clear early — without being heavy-handed — prevents misunderstandings and shows you're thoughtful, not controlling.
Make a small commitment
Frequently asked questions
What do I say in my first 1-on-1 as a manager?
Lead with curiosity about their work and goals, set expectations openly, and follow through on one small thing they raise.
Should I assert my authority early?
No — listen first; curiosity earns more respect than authority.
How do I build trust quickly?
Follow through on a small commitment from the first conversation.
How can I prepare?
Book a free 30-minute class to work on it 1-on-1 with Digby R. Kerr.
Start with a free 30-minute class
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