Why Every Professional Needs a Mentor — And How to Find the Right One
By Digby R. Kerr · Kerr University™ · All Articles
In my second year at FedEx, a senior manager named Walter pulled me aside after a meeting where I'd made a mistake in front of a client. I expected a reprimand. Instead, he asked if I had ten minutes after work.
We sat in his office and he walked through, calmly, exactly what had gone wrong, why it mattered, and — more importantly — what he had done the first time he made a similar mistake, years earlier. He wasn't checking a box. He genuinely wanted me to skip the years of confusion he'd gone through.
I had that conversation almost thirty-five years ago, and I still think about it. That is what a mentor does. Not hand you answers — hand you the years.
Why So Few People Have One
Most professionals tell me they don't have a mentor for one of two reasons: they don't think they need one, or they don't know how to ask. The first reason is almost always wrong, and the second is almost always solvable.
You need a mentor not because you can't figure things out on your own — you can. You need one because figuring things out alone takes years that someone else has already spent. A good mentor doesn't make you capable. You already are. They make you faster.
How to Find the Right One
1. Look for someone two steps ahead, not twenty. Someone twenty years ahead of you has often forgotten what your specific stage feels like. Someone two steps ahead remembers exactly.
2. Ask for something small first. "Could I ask you one question about how you handled X?" is a request almost no one refuses. "Will you be my mentor?" is a request many people find too big to say yes to on the spot.
3. Show that the time was worth it. Come back and tell them what you did with their advice. This is the single biggest reason mentors keep showing up — and the single biggest reason they stop.
The other side: If you've been in your field more than a few years, someone two steps behind you needs exactly what Walter gave me. You don't need a title to mentor someone. You need ten minutes and a memory of what it was like before you knew what you know now.
The bottom line: A mentor is not a luxury for people who are struggling. It is leverage for people who are serious.
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