Phone and Video Calls in English: Why They’re Harder Than Meetings (And How to Win Them)
By Digby R. Kerr · Kerr University™ · · All Articles
One of my strongest students — an executive who could hold a boardroom in person — once confessed she scheduled fake conflicts to avoid conference calls.
In the room, she was formidable. On the phone, she said, “I become a person who says yes to everything, because asking people to repeat themselves a third time is humiliating.”
She is not unusual. Calls are objectively the hardest thing you do in English, and it helps to know why: you lose lips, faces, and gestures — research on speech perception shows we all lip-read far more than we realise. You get compressed, clipped audio. Speakers overlap. And on video, a delay of half a second makes you seem hesitant when you are merely buffering.
So stop treating call anxiety as a character flaw. Treat it as an engineering problem. Engineers add margins.
Take Control of the Channel Early
In the first minute, while stakes are low: “Before we start — the line is not great on my end, so if I ask you to repeat something, that is why.” One sentence, and you have reframed every future clarification as a technical issue, not a language issue. Nobody has ever objected.
Upgrade Your Clarification Toolkit
Weak: “Sorry, can you repeat?” (vague, and it invites them to repeat everything, faster). Strong: “Just the last number — fifteen or fifty?” — “You said the deadline moved. To when?” Specific questions signal that you understood 90% and are locking down the 10% that matters. That reads as rigour, not weakness.
Confirm in Writing, Live
The most senior move on any call: “Let me repeat that back so we are aligned — delivery on the 12th, revised pricing by Friday, Tomas owns the contract.” You catch every mishearing at once, and the room now sees you as the person who keeps score. On video, follow with a two-line chat message. Misheard numbers cost real money; the person who confirms them owns the record.
For Video Specifically
Turn on captions if the platform offers them (that is not cheating; native speakers use them). Look at the camera when you speak. And claim your turn verbally, since you cannot lean forward: “I would like to add something to that.”
My executive stopped scheduling fake conflicts after we drilled these for six weeks — clarification lines first, then live recaps. Calls are a skill, not a talent.
They are also a skill you can rehearse safely: my free 30-minute class happens on a video call, which makes it the perfect practice arena.
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