Small Talk in English for Professionals: What to Say Before the Meeting Starts

The deal was won in the elevator, not the boardroom.

Years ago, I flew to Chicago with a colleague — a Korean executive, easily the sharpest analyst in our company — to pitch a contract we badly needed. In the elevator up to the meeting, our prospective client mentioned he had just come back from a fishing trip with his son.

My colleague said nothing. He told me later he had understood every word — he simply had no idea what he was allowed to say. So he smiled and looked at the floor numbers.

I asked one question: “What do they fish for up there?” Four minutes of conversation followed. By the time the elevator doors opened, the meeting had already started going well.

We won the contract. The client told me months later: “You were the only ones who felt like people.”

Here is what that day taught me, and what a decade of coaching has confirmed: for advanced English speakers, small talk is not a language problem. My colleague had the vocabulary of a professor. Small talk is a permission problem — not knowing what is safe to say, when to speak, and how personal is too personal. And permission can be taught.

Why Small Talk Terrifies Advanced Speakers

Meetings have agendas. Presentations have slides. Small talk has nothing — no structure, no preparation, cultural landmines everywhere, and it happens at speed. It is the most improvised English you will ever use, which is why students who give flawless presentations still dread the five minutes before the meeting starts.

But those five minutes are not decoration. They are where trust is built — and business runs on trust. People decide whether they like you before they decide whether they agree with you. Skip the small talk and you skip the like.

The Golden Rule: You Do Not Need to Be Interesting

This is the misunderstanding that ruins everything. Professionals think small talk requires wit, stories, cleverness. Wrong. Small talk has one job: to show friendly attention. And the easiest way to show friendly attention is to ask, then follow up.

The formula is two moves. Move 1 — an easy opener. Move 2 — a follow-up question about their answer.

That is the entire skill. The follow-up matters more than the opener, because it proves you were listening. Most people never make the second move.

Openers That Always Work (And Are Always Safe)

Before a meeting: “How is your week going so far?” — “Have you been busy with this project for long?” — “Did you have far to travel today?”

On a video call while waiting: “How is the weather where you are?” (Yes, weather. It is not boring — it is universal. That is the point of it.) — “I like the bookshelf — do you actually get time to read?”

At a conference or event: “What has been the best session so far?” — “Is this your first time at this event?”

Returning after a weekend or holiday: “Did you get up to anything good this weekend?”

Notice what these have in common: every one can be answered without effort, and every answer creates material for your follow-up. If they say “busy week — we are launching Thursday,” your next line writes itself: “What are you launching?” You are now in a real conversation, and nobody remembers who started it.

The Topics to Avoid (This List Is Short)

Safe: work, travel, food, weather, sport, the city, weekend plans, the event you are both attending.

Not safe: salary, politics, religion, someone’s age, appearance, marital status, or why they do not have children. When in doubt, ask about the place, not the person — “how do you like living in Austin?” is always safe.

How to Escape Gracefully

Advanced speakers also fear the exit — being trapped with no polite way out. Memorise one line and own it:

“It has been great talking with you — I think we are about to start, but let us continue this after.”

Warm, professional, finished. An exit line in your pocket makes you braver at the entrance; you will start more conversations when you know exactly how you will leave them.

The Mistake to Unlearn: Silence Is Not Neutral

My Korean colleague thought staying quiet was the safe choice. It was not. In American and British business culture, silence before a meeting does not read as respectful — it reads as cold or disengaged, however unfair that is. A clumsy question beats an elegant silence every single time. Nobody has ever lost a deal by asking about a fishing trip.

Practise With a Person, Not an App

Small talk is improvisation, and improvisation cannot be learned from flashcards — it needs a live human who responds unpredictably, the way the elevator does. That is exactly what happens in my free 30-minute class: no slides, no drills, just real conversation with feedback on the parts that matter. The first five minutes is the lesson.

Ready to accelerate your career?

Claim your complimentary 30-minute strategy session with Digby R. Kerr.

Book Your Free Session

← Back to all articles